Gabriella

October 15 is National Pregnancy, Stillbirth and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. People all over the world are asked to light a candle at 7:00 pm in remembrance of a child that lost their life all too soon. Several of my friends have lost children during pregnancy, were born stillborn, or died shortly after birth. It is such a tragic loss for these families and my heart breaks for each and every one of them.

I think part of the reason I feel so deeply for their loss is because Caden was not supposed to live either. He was not expected to live to be born. But he did. He was not expected to live more than a few minutes or hours. But he did. I often wonder why we were granted a miracle and so many other families were not. I know I can never answer these questions until I get to heaven. But what I do know is I am determined to NOT take my children for granted. They are a gift and I need to cherish every moment with them because you never know when that might be taken away.

On the 15th, I lit a candle in honor of all the children whose lives were cut short. But this year, it was especially in honor of Gabriella. She would have been 6 months old on October 2 if she had lived. But tragically she only lived for one hour. That hour was the most precious gift the family could have asked for. An hour I was lucky enough to be a part of. Being a part of her short life changed my life and perspective in so many ways and I pray I never forget what that day felt like.

If you know of anyone who has lost a child, please don't avoid the subject with them. That only hurts them worse. It makes them feel like their child never existed. They long to hear their child's name. Bringing it up will not hurt them more. They are already hurting so much and the pain of not talking about it is very difficult. Whatever you do, please do not act like it never happened. Talk to the parents. You do not have to have the “right” thing to say. In fact, just telling them you are sorry for their loss means the world. Just telling them you are praying for them gives them the strength to get through another day. It can be that simple. Just don't ignore it.