Talking to Kyler about Caden

We weren’t sure how to talk to Kyler about Caden. In the beginning of the pregnancy, we decided not to talk to him about it simply because 9 months is a very long time for a 2-year-old. We figured he wouldn’t really understand what was taking so long for baby to get here. So we decided to wait to talk to him about it until I was further along and was showing more so that it was more “real” to Kyler.

When we had our very first ultrasound and received all the bad news, we really didn’t know how to talk about it with Kyler. He adores babies and loves to kiss them, hug them and try to hold them. We weren’t sure we wanted to get him all excited about having a baby brother when we weren’t sure Caden would even survive. But the more we thought about it we realized that regardless of whether Caden lives or not, he is still a member of our family and will be loved by us forever. We knew we needed to talk to Kyler about Caden and include him in our prayers for him. This is his brother and we want him to know about him and love him. We want to honor Caden as part of our family.

So, while we were on vacation and came up with Caden’s name, we really started talking to Kyler about him. Now he will come up to me and lift up my shirt, point at my belly and say “Mommy’s Caden”. We talk to him about his brother in Mommy’s tummy and we pray together and ask God to heal him. We are careful not to say Caden is “sick” and might die because we don’t want Kyler to think that if he gets a cold or Mommy or Daddy are sick for any reason that any of us are going to die. That could be very scary for him. So, we try to keep it very simple and very basic. It feels right and we know God is leading all of us so we try to keep focused on him. Thank you for your prayers to help us continue to know the right things to tell Kyler about his baby brother.