The Beginning

August 21 was a day we had been looking forward to: we were going to find out the gender of our baby who is due January 17. Greg took the day off work and my Mom was home with Kyler so we could go to the ultrasound together. When we were called back to the ultrasound room, we were very excited and told the technician we definitely wanted to know the gender. She proceeded with the scan and commented on things she saw here and there, but was overall fairly quiet. The thought dawned on us that maybe something was wrong, but dismissed it as just being her personality.

When our ultrasound was over, we were scheduled to see Dr. Sweeney, my OB/GYN, immediately following. While we waited, we called family members to tell them the exciting news that we found out we were having a boy. That is what I wanted very much so I was thrilled. We enjoyed our 45 minutes of blissful ignorance before finally being called back to see Dr. Sweeney. We were wondering what was taking so long, but it’s not completely unusual to have a wait at the doctor’s office. When she finally entered the exam room, she apologized for the wait and explained that she had been reviewing the ultrasound. Without wanting to “sugar-coat” things, as she put it, she cut right to the chase and told us that there were several things of concern in the ultrasound.

It didn’t take me long before I was crying as she described issues with the heart and skull development. She gave us as much information as she could before leaving the room and allowing me and Greg some time alone to absorb the gravity of what we had just learned. It was completely overwhelming to hear about the concerns.

Dr. Sweeney referred us to see a perinatologist for a more in-depth ultrasound with the specialist to see if they could get more thorough data. She told us she would talk to her friend who was a doctor in the practice and make sure they got me in right away. In addition, she wanted us to get a fetal echocardiogram at the cardiologist’s office for more information on the heart specifically.

After shedding more tears together, Greg and I left the doctor’s office and headed home. Now came the awful task of calling our family back and giving them the devastating news. At this point, we still didn’t know the gravity of the situation, but all we could do was think about what we did know and things didn’t look good.

That Thursday afternoon, we spent a lot of time talking to family and a couple friends about the situation as well as crying more tears. It was extremely hard to have to wait to get more information. I am a planner and I want to be able to plan for things. So, first thing Friday morning, August 22, I called the cardiologist’s office and scheduled the echo for Thursday, August 28. Then, I called the perinatologist’s office to schedule the ultrasound for Wednesday, August 27. It certainly didn’t feel like it was enough, but it was all I could do at that point. Now, we had to wait through the weekend and somehow survive until the 27th when we could get more information from the specialist.

On Saturday, I was not emotionally ready to go to church and answer any questions regarding the baby and how I was doing so I opted to stay home. Greg and Kyler went for part of church and Sabbath School. The rest of the weekend, we tried to spend as much family time together as we could. It’s hard to know what to do when you’re faced with this type of situation, but we turned inward and upward. We spent a lot of time with our family of three and a lot of time praying for guidance, strength and wisdom.

We already felt the need to be looking for the positive things in the situation and looking for where God’s hand was already working in our lives. It didn’t take us long to come up with a list of multiple things which pointed to God working to prepare us for this moment. The list includes putting dear and special friends in our lives even before we knew we needed them on this level. It also involves the timing of our trip to Hawaii for Greg’s job, the day the ultrasound was scheduled for, and many other things. Being able to see where God was putting people and timing in place for us really helped us get through those first few days when we were just waiting to get more information.

I am confident there are many other ways in which God has worked to prepare us for this journey. Some of them are unseen by us at this point and some probably unknown until heaven. I am grateful for the provision God has made for our family and the provision he will continue to make for us along the way.