Spring Break

This past week was spring break for both the kids. It's was a tough week to be at home with them with nothing on the agenda. Not because I don't enjoy spending time with them, but because my mind has been focused entirely on Caden's upcoming surgery and that has been very discouraging. I had two play dates planned for the kids during the week and both of them had to be canceled due to the other kids being sick. We cannot risk Caden getting sick right now or surgery could be canceled or postponed!

Up until this week, I have had things to keep my mind occupied. Kyler's birthday party, my sister's birthday party. But as of last weekend, those things are both over. So, the next big thing on the calendar is Caden's surgery.

This has not been a good thing for my mental health. But God knew I needed the support and the day I needed it the most, I was blessed by phone calls from several people. One of them is the pastor of our church in California and it was so nice to talk to him and have him pray with me. Even though we moved to Washington over a year ago, this church still feels like our family.

Wednesday night after we put Caden to bed, Greg and I sat down with Kyler to talk to him about the surgery. This is the first time we've talked to either of the boys about it because we felt it was too far in the future to stress them out about it. But we felt we needed to give Kyler at least a week to process through the fact that we were taking Caden down to Stanford for surgery and that I would be gone with him for at least a month. And, Greg will be gone a lot of that time, but he will be home in the middle for a little while.

We had a really good conversation with him about it and he asked a lot of questions. One of the things he asked was “Why didn't God heal Caden's heart while he was still in Mommy's tummy?” It's a tough thing to explain to your son but we managed. He also asked how long the surgery would take. We told him it would be several hours. His response to that was “If the surgery only takes a few hours, why are you going to be gone a month?” Definitely a valid question for a 7-year-old who doesn't understand that you can't just have open heart surgery one day and be home the next. We talked to him about Caden needing time to recover and heal some before we could come home.

I also got a book for Kyler that was written for young kids who have siblings in the hospital. It addresses several concerns a child could have when they have a brother/sister in the hospital. I read the book to Kyler and he really liked it. He has read it on his own several times since the first time I read it to him. We also told him he could come to us and ask us any questions he had about the surgery or anything else. He said he was a little scared. We told him Grandma (Greg's mom) would be here with him the entire time I was gone with Caden. So he would always have someone here with him. That seemed to help a lot also.

Overall, I think the conversation went really well and he is handling it well. I hope he continues to come to us with any questions he might have on the subject. And we will be able to facetime with him every day so that should help some.

Friday night, Greg and I talked to Caden for a few minutes to tell him about his surgery. We kept it very light and didn't go into any detail. As it gets closer we will talk to him about it more and explain more in depth about what will be happening. As it was, the only reason we talked to him about it on Friday night was because our pastor was going to be praying for us in front of church on Saturday. We needed him to be a little prepared for that. Caden didn't ask any questions and didn't seemed phased by the thought that he would be having surgery. And when he prayed before bed on Friday night, he said, “Thank you Jesus, for Pastor Cary praying for us at church tomorrow.” So that is what stood out in his mind more than the fact that he was going to have surgery.

Saturday, March 30, our church had brunch in the morning, followed by one church service. Typically there are two services with a Bible study class time in between. But because of the Easter weekend, they only did one service. As soon as we sat down in the sanctuary, my heart started pounding. It is not easy for me to get up in front of people and be the center of attention. I like to keep a low profile and not draw attention to myself. I am an introvert. But our pastor really wanted to do this for us and we very much appreciate it.

After the praise and worship time, he called our whole family up to the front of church and had Greg briefly share what our family is going through. Greg had a hard time getting through it as he was filled with so much emotion. I had a hard enough time holding it together and I didn't have to speak. It was an extremely emotional time for us. Kyler did a great job standing relatively still and Caden was very quiet and content while I held him. After Greg finished sharing, Pastor Cary asked the elders of the church to come forward and pray over us. And, the pastor also asked the church members to be willing to commit to praying for Caden and our family daily for the entire month of April. What an honor and a blessing. After prayer, we walked back to our seats and tried to hold it together for the rest of the church service. What a morning!

Then, in the afternoon I opened up my facebook page and the first thing on my newsfeed was a photo one of the church members had posted with a caption of “praying for Caden” on it (pictured above). I was so touched by this gesture, I completely broke down sobbing. Even though we've been attending our church for over a year, I wouldn't say we have gotten to know many people very well. This simple act touched me deeply. Thank you for all of you who continue to support us and lift us up in prayer. I am having a harder time the closer we get to surgery. We've known for a few months that surgery was coming, and I was dreading it. But now that we are so close, I am to the point that I just want to get it over with and move on. I am ready for Caden to be done, and on the road to recovery instead of having this looming over our heads. Your prayers mean the world to us and we are so grateful. Please feel free to leave comments on the blog even if we don't know you personally. We enjoy reading them and knowing people are praying for us.