Reflecting

There are times in a person's life when they look around and see how blessed they are to have what they have. I have been through one of those times recently. Some of our closest friends were pregnant with a baby girl and were so excited about it! This was their third child and the baby they wanted to complete their family. Unfortunately, at their 20-week ultrasound, they were told there were some serious problems with her and they needed to do an amnio. The amnio results showed that their precious daughter had Trisomy 13, a chromosome defect where there are 3 copies of the 13th chromosome instead of only 2. This is accompanied by multiple organ issues. In her case, it was affecting her brain, her heart, and her kidneys from what they could tell from ultrasounds.

They made the incredibly difficult decision to carry on with the pregnancy and pray for a miracle of God's healing. They named her Gabriella, which means “God is my strength.” They were told she would not survive to term and would likely pass away in utero before being born. This is one of the most difficult things you can hear about the precious baby you are carrying.

Up until they received their amnio results, our journeys were very similar. We were also told that Caden would not live and that he likely had Trisomy 13 or Trisomy 18 (he ended up having neither). But our amnio results showed very different things than theirs. That is where their journey took a different path. We still didn't know what Caden's outcome would be due to the heart, diaphragm and lung defects he had, but at least we knew he didn't have a chromosomal issue as well. He had a chance.

We didn't know if Gabriella would be healed or not. Ultimately that was not the case. However, we also prayed for her to be born alive so our friends could spend some time with her and be able to say goodbye. This prayer was answered! Our friend went into labor at 34 weeks and Gabriella was born alive! They got to spend an incredible hour showering her with love. Their two older children got to meet and hold her as well. They were able to get some amazing photos of her and their family as well, which they will always treasure.

I was and still am completely heartbroken for them. I think part of why my heart hurts so much for them is because this was supposed to be us. This was supposed to be Caden's outcome. I don't know why things turned out they way they did for us. I don't know why they had to suffer such a tragic loss and we didn't. I don't have the answers. But I do know that my heart hurts and I wish I could take their pain away. I also know their faith in God is what is sustaining them through this loss. The hope and faith that they will get to see her again and hold her in heaven is what helps them get through each day. They have handled this situation with such amazing grace and strength that I believe only comes from above. I could only hope to have handled everything with the same grace as them if we had lost Caden.

I am writing this because I want you to take a look around and recognize all you have to be thankful for. Life is too short so please remember to tell the people around you that you love them. Don't take your children or family for granted. No matter how bad things look, you can always find something to be thankful for. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband and my two handsome boys. And I am even more thankful for a heavenly Father who loves us more than we can possibly imagine and gives us the chance to live eternal life with him in Heaven. It gives me hope that this world is not all there is. There is so much more and all we have to do is accept Jesus Christ into our hearts. I eagerly look forward to that day when Jesus comes again and my friends (and anyone else who has lost a child or other loved one) is able to be reunited with them. What a wonderful and glorious day that will be!